It's a two-kid world

Unless you have at least three kids, you probably have not noticed that we are living in a two-kid world. What do I mean by a two-kid world? I mean that businesses favor two-child families. For example, many restaurants offer free or reduced-cost meals with one paying adult per child. So unless we bring Grandma and Grandpa, my sister and her husband, and the widow lady next door, we don’t qualify for the kids-eat-free meals.

My kids saw a commercial for the Great Wolf Lodge and thought it would be great to spend a couple of days swimming and splashing. Not only did it sound like a lot of fun, but I thought we might be able to afford it because I had heard that hotels were offering great rates due to the downtown in the economy. It turned out that even with a suite, nine people was too many and that we would have to rent two suites. Moreover, even with their lower rates, it was still going to cost over $350 a night.

At Hungry Howie’s or Little Caesar’s, the family-sized pizza is not enough. We often have to buy their family package and then some. Lately we have been going to Sam’s Club and buying three of their LARGE pizzas, (which are actually large). It costs about $25, but at least we all get enough to eat.

Airlines also discriminate against the child-gifted. We have never flown anywhere as a family because we don’t qualify for enough of the half-price fares. We can’t even be bothered to win a trip in a contest. They always say we can “win a trip for a family of four to X.” What are we supposed to do, leave the others at home?

If we want to go somewhere, we travel by car – two cars, actually. We have a Chevy Venture, which holds seven, but we are nine. Last summer, we thought about renting a 12-passenger van so that could all travel together. I called the major car rental companies. Only one could even locate the size van we wanted, and that company charged so much it was cheaper just to take both cars.

A few months ago I stopped by a Chevy dealership to see what it would cost to buy a new van. I thought maybe there would be some cash-back deals or special financing rates. There were, but not for vans. The salesman told me that they didn’t offer special deals on vans because “people who need to buy them, buy them anyway.” (He wasn’t quite accurate. We still take two cars everywhere.)

It’s not that I blame these businesses. They might lose money if they gave big families a break. Or would they? Maybe large families are an untapped market. If more businesses catered to big families, maybe they would be able to get out more often for dining, entertainment, and travel.