Hot and steamy...........parenting

In these days of smaller families, people are naturally curious about bigger ones. The most commonly-asked question we hear is, “Are you going to have any more?” Actually, this is quite personal, but I know they don’t mean any harm. Still, it’s none of their business. I never ask anyone why they only have two and if they are going to have any more. I saw a website for bigger families once, and they had a section of responses, both serious and funny, when people ask personal questions. One snide question was, “Don’t you have a TV?” The response was, “Sure we have a TV, but all we watch is porn.”

Then there are all those things that people wonder about but dare not ask: Do parents of large families still enjoy sex? Aren’t they afraid of ending up with more kids? When do they find the time and energy? These are highly personal questions that I will be happy to answer.

First, do we still enjoy sex? Of course we do; otherwise, how would a family of six kids grow to seven or eight? If we weren’t willing or able, we wouldn’t have more.
I remember something a colleague of mine said after the birth of his second child. He was asked if he and his wife were going to have any more. His response was, “No! Two’s enough. We’re done!” I found his reaction remarkable because he acted as if something bad had happened twice to him and had to be prevented from happening again. (“I’ve had gallstones twice. That’s it! I’m having my gall bladder removed!”) From our perspective, having children is a natural consequence when everything is working correctly and naturally. (We are so green!)

Another time, I was in a grad class, and we all had to introduce ourselves. I mentioned that I had (at the time) four children, and one of the other male students said to me, “Man, what’s wrong with you?” I said, “Nothing, evidently.” I think he had only two. I wanted to add, “It’s not my fault you need Viagra or your wife doesn’t like you,” but I was too classy.

So when do we find the time and energy? Sometimes we don’t but where there’s a will, there’s a way. If anything, the lack of privacy increases spontaneity and creativity as to where, when, and how. When we can’t schedule some alone time, we have to take it when we can. This means we have to keep things on simmer a lot of the time so it’s easy to turn up the heat when the opportunity presents itself. (I was going to say when the opportunity "arises" but I thought that would be a cheap pun, so I left it out.)

Have you ever noticed how many articles in magazines and on line give advice on how to have more and better sex? Have you ever noticed how many TV sitcoms make jokes about how husbands don’t get enough “attention” from their wives? (Think of Everybody Loves Raymond.) To me this indicates that there are a lot of people out there who are unhappy with their love-lives. We have no complaints.