They say the average family has 2.3 children. I am not sure what .3 of a child is, but it probably has something to do with statistics, and I never was very good at math. Anyway, my wife Lisa and I have slightly more than the average number of children – seven, actually – two girls and five boys, ranging in age from seventeen months to not quite seventeen years. We never planned to have a large family, but we never planned not to have one either. My wife says that we always said we’d have three or four kids, but we ended up with three and four kids. No matter. They are here, and we are glad to have them.
It’s funny the reactions we get from people. Most seem to admire us in a sort of wow-you-guys-are-so-amazing-we-wish-we could-do-what-you-guys-are-doing-but-not-really way. Our friends at church are glad that we have a big family. When my wife suggests to some of the women that they could have another child, they always say that they are too old. This amuses Lisa because she is older than many of them who say that.
Other people seem to think that because we have so many kids we are on the brink of poverty. When we go places like picnics or church gatherings, people tend to give us the leftovers to take home. Families with older children will drop off bags of clothes for our kids to try on. (Most of these clothes we pass on to the Good Will, but we appreciate the thought.) Our parish priest always tries to cut us a deal on the travel costs when our son goes with the youth group on a trip. I think it makes them feel better to believe that they are helping a large and struggling (in their opinion) family to make it in life.
Actually, we think that having a large family is a blessing that actually helps more than it hinders. If more people knew about the advantages of having a bunch of kids, they just might follow our lead, (but probably not).
It’s funny the reactions we get from people. Most seem to admire us in a sort of wow-you-guys-are-so-amazing-we-wish-we could-do-what-you-guys-are-doing-but-not-really way. Our friends at church are glad that we have a big family. When my wife suggests to some of the women that they could have another child, they always say that they are too old. This amuses Lisa because she is older than many of them who say that.
Other people seem to think that because we have so many kids we are on the brink of poverty. When we go places like picnics or church gatherings, people tend to give us the leftovers to take home. Families with older children will drop off bags of clothes for our kids to try on. (Most of these clothes we pass on to the Good Will, but we appreciate the thought.) Our parish priest always tries to cut us a deal on the travel costs when our son goes with the youth group on a trip. I think it makes them feel better to believe that they are helping a large and struggling (in their opinion) family to make it in life.
Actually, we think that having a large family is a blessing that actually helps more than it hinders. If more people knew about the advantages of having a bunch of kids, they just might follow our lead, (but probably not).
I think that's great you have such a big family. It's funny how people automatically assume you are broke since you have such a large family!
ReplyDeleteI have four fewer kids than you, and I get that look all the time.
ReplyDeleteHi, Erik:
ReplyDeleteInteresting that you brought up Lisa's age-I think you said last semester that you're 45? right? If Lisa and you don't mind, I'd love to know her age. Besides my curiousity, you must have a very strict household. I caught that show um, I think it's called 17 and counting. I like how everybody has a duty, does this sound familiar?
Hi, Bernie.
ReplyDeleteYes, I am 45, 46 in September. Lisa will be 43 in July.
I wouldn't say we are overly strict. In some areas like bedtimes and music lessons, we are indulgent. But we have to insist on helping out with chores, and I will not tolerate disrespectful behavior.
Most of the time we have a good time, and I try not to sweat the small stuff. We are both getting more patient as we get older.
Thanks.
Erik